Godsplaining

You’ve heard of mansplaining, right?

Mansplaining is the phenomenon where a man overhears someone, usually a woman, explaining something and, upon detecting something that doesn’t seem quite right, feels compelled to say, “Actually…” followed by an impromptu lecture intended to straighten said woman out.

It’s like the passive aggressive version of explaining, but with an undertone of misogyny, and usually accompanied by an eye roll or a pat on the head. And it always comes unbidden and unfettered by anything as pedestrian as context or empathy. Heaven forbid it be preceded by inquiry. 

No, the mansplain must fly directly and immediately to its target, because it’s an arrow of “truth” in a world full of half-truths and willful ignorance. 

That’s mansplaining. And, while it may seem arrogant or narcissistic, it is our right - nay, our moral obligation - as men, to impart our wisdom, willy-nilly, like Johnny Appleseed, whether or not said wisdom is wanted or needed. Huzzah!

Or not.

Mansplaining is a curse, but unlike most curses, it’s real. If you’re a man, you’ve done it. If you’re a woman, you’ve suffered through it. And right now, I want to officially apologize to everyone I’ve ever mansplained to, and everyone that I will, undoubtedly, mansplain to in the future. I’m sorry. No, really. I am.

But there is another thing that is similar, but not exactly the same, and does not, therefore, fall under the same curse. And that is something I call Godsplaining.

Godsplaining might sound like mansplaining, but it’s not the same. Because Peter told us we have to Godsplain. Remember he said…

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone…(1 Peter 3:15)

So, we have a biblical mandate to Godsplain. If we hear God-talk that sounds a little off, it’s our right - nay, our moral obligation - to impart our wisdom - especially on the internet.

Right?

No need for context or empathy. We MUST give an answer. Peter said so.

Or did he?

Actually…(Oh, no, there I go, Godsplaining. Bear with me.)
Actually, the verse says, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.”

You’re supposed to give an answer IF they ask. You don't give an answer when there's been no question. And then it says…

“But do this with gentleness and respect.”

Keep your eye rolls to yourself. Seriously. And perhaps consider that you might not be as smart as you think. At least that's what Solomon would have suggested. He said, "The way of fools seems right to the fools, but the wise listen to advice." (Proverbs 12:15)

If your first inclination is to start Godsplaining, maybe take a cue from the wisest guy who ever lived, and try listening more than you talk?

"But it's for their own good," you say. "It would be worse to leave them in their error."

Writing that just made me a little ill. Sure, I like to think I've got a handle on some stuff. But, as soon as I start thinking I've got it all figured out, and that my mission is to straighten out those who don't, I start becoming useless to the purposes of God. Because, speaking for God is not about imparting knowledge; it's about expressing His extravagant love through my own love for others.

And if you ever lose sight of this, just remember the words of Paul, who said, "knowledge puffs up, while love builds up." (1 Corintians 8:1b)

He doesn't say that it's bad to collect knowledge. Learning and growing in our knowledge of God and the world should be our lifelong pursuit. But letting that knowledge define us - holding it over others - allowing it to make us feel superior - is the polar opposite of love.

Quit Godsplaining, and start Godlistening. Start hearing others and, when they ask you why you seem so loving, so open, so humble, then you can tell them the reason for the hope that you have.

Because if you've actually managed to shut up long enough to become the person who can listen to others before imparting your fool's wisdom, if you can be humble enough to admit that you might be wrong, if you can make room for differences of opinion, then maybe, just maybe, someone might want to hear your explanation.

That's what Peter was talking about. Go ahead. Do it. Peter said so.

Motivation

At last week's Sunday Quest Gathering, we talked about motivation. What are we motivated by? What fuels us? Is it love or is it fear?

This morning, my friend and fellow Quester, Doug, shared a blog he'd read by Seth Godin that confirmed some of what we discussed (read the whole blog HERE - and subscribe; Godin is terrific and interesting).

Godin suggested that, without motivation, we tend toward apathy, and he listed the following narratives as effective motivators:

• Avoidance of shame (do this work or you'll be seen as a fraud/loser/outcast)
• Becoming a better version of yourself
• Big dreams (because you can see it/feel it/taste it)
• Catastrophe (or the world as we know it will end)
• Competition (someone is gaining on you)
• Compliance (the boss/contract says I have to, and even better, there's a deadline)
• Connection (because others will join in)
• Creative itch (the voice inside of you wants to be expressed)
• Dissatisfaction (because it's not good enough as it is)
• Engineer (because there's a problem to be solved)
• Fame (imagining life is better on the other side)
• Generosity (because it's a chance to contribute)
• It's a living (pay the writer)
• Peer pressure (the reunion is coming up)
• Possibility (because we can, and it'll be neat to see how it works in the world)
• Professionalism (because it's what we do)
• Revenge (you'll show the naysayers)
• Selection (to get in, win the prize, be chosen)
• Unhappiness (because the only glimmer of happiness comes from the next win, after all, we're not good enough as is)

Some of these are positive, some negative. But Doug thought it was interesting that, while Godin never mentions "fear" specifically, fear is part of what fuels nearly all of these narratives.

I added that they all seem to be self-centric. Even the ones that SEEM others-centric, like "generosity," still feel self-centric (i.e., it's a chance to contribute, but why?). And this isn't good or bad; it just is. Godin is merely relaying the truth of things - most people are motivated by self-interest and fear.

Be we need to push against that. Hopefully, that's part of what makes us different - Questers specifically and Christians generally. Following Jesus rearranges our priorities and our motivations.

Jesus says that people will know we follow him because of the extravagant way we love (John 13:35). And the kind of love he was talking about - agape or unconditional love - has very little to do with self-interest or fear, and everything to do with subjugating our own needs in favor of the needs of others (Phil 2:3).

This narrative has the power to change you and change the people around you, because, like we said Sunday, it's not natural - it's not pragmatic or intuitive -  but it is infectious and powerful because it springs from the knowledge that we no longer need to live in fear - this kind of love that Jesus talks about dispels fear by rendering it powerless (1 John 4:18). 

It's a better narrative, and it goes something like this: 

• Jesus follower (love because he first loved us)

Unlike the narratives listed above, this narrative can do much more than keep you motivated. This narrative can change the world.

How's that for good news?

Psalm Challenge

Sunday, near the end of my message, I challenged everyone to pick a Psalm at random and read it. 

Then, keeping in mind our conversation about how the Psalms are poems, and about how poems are a collision of order and chaos, I asked you to share any observations along those lines - just a sentence or two - nothing elaborate.

So, I will be posting my observations to the Quest Facebook page shortly, so you can respond either there or here or both.

-----

I picked Psalm 27 totally at random, and here's what I found:

It starts with a boast of confidence in God - "Whom shall I fear? I will be confident even in the face of my enemies." But then, immediately he changes course and basically says, "One thing I seek - to have the safety and security of a relationship with God." 

This is a really good example of what we've been talking about. David's essentially saying, "God's got my back - so, I hope he's got my back." Lol.

He says, "My enemies don't have a chance," but then he says, "IF you take me in, God, my enemies will fall."

See, David's no different than us. If David can experience doubt, why do we think we won't?

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Okay, what did YOU find? Can't wait to hear...

Introducing ONRAMP

So, last Sunday, we let everyone know that we were changing the way we do midweek grouplife at Quest.

Instead of various types of meetings and whatnot, we're going to try an intentional disciplemaking approach called ONRAMP.

You can find details about upcoming ONRAMP gatherings and RSVP HERE.

But here's a brief description of how it will work…

Our lives are busy and chaotic, and it's hard to find time to slow down, take a deep breath, and consider big ideas. Our lives are so complex that we barely have time to think big - especially when it comes to God stuff. But the big ideas matter; God stuff matters. 

If you're like us, you've tried and tried to find a way to think more deeply about God stuff - blogs, Bible studies, small groups, Sunday school, online discussions - but it's a little like trying to parachute into the middle of a speeding interstate highway…

Enter ONRAMP.

ONRAMP is a safe way to exit your daily chaos and merge into the deeper streams of God.

You don't need to be a Bible scholar or a career theologian to understand this stuff. You just need to slow down and enter into conversation with others who are looking for the same things. It's not rocket science. That's why Jesus said, "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Join us at ONRAMP. Slow down. Have a drink. Think deep. Explore.

- - - - -

Without being a slave to structure, our ONRAMP gatherings will reflect the following values and hold to the following format:

VALUES

Dialog | Dependence | Discovery | Discipline

We'll value dialog.

No one person, not even the ONRAMP facilitator, will be allowed to dominate the conversation. This will be a discussion, not a lecture. And it'll be a safe place to share and self-discover.

We'll value dependence.

While this is a Christian-led exploration of Bible texts, we'll depend on the Spirit to "lead us into all truth." So we'll be less worried about correcting people than about encouraging the free exchange of ideas.

We'll value discovery.
We believe the writer of Hebrews, when he says, "The Word of God is alive and active." When we open the Bible and wrestle with its contents, truth will continually rise to the surface. And that's what we're looking for.

We'll value discipline.
We think following the Way of Jesus is an intrinsic good. And in order to do that in our busy lives, we need to develop habits and practices that help us follow him. We hope ONRAMP will be one of those practices.

- - - - -

FORMAT
At each gathering, we'll spend a few minutes breaking the ice and getting to know each other.

Then we'll use a predictable method to explore a particular passage from the Bible.

We'll read the passage aloud and then ask the following five questions:

• What does this tell us about God? 
• What does this tell us about people? 
• What else did we learn? 
• If we believe this is true, what might we do differently? 
• If we put this into practice, what would be the challenges/benefits? 

You’ll be amazed at how these five questions open up the text and draw insight from it.

Join us at ONRAMP!

The race

GUEST POST:

Pastor Ed has pointed out that "to sin" in its original meaning is to miss the mark or fall short of the goal. If I have a Fitbit goal of 10,000 steps per day, am I sinning when I only walk 9,990 steps?

It matters who sets the mark. Our standards are not God's standards. Our goals are not God's goals. This is certainly true at the starting line. 

It is an interesting sort of race, discipleship. We start with only our own vague notions of the length, direction, and finish line. We learn a little more about where we are going as we run. More importantly, we learn about how to run as we run. Most importantly, we learn about who we are running with, none less than Lord Jesus Christ.

There will be obstacles in the road and people who will try to discourage us, even try to stop us. But, do not stop! Stay on the way! When the people of Israel faced opposition, Moses said, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you." *

Let us aim to follow Paul's example, to run a good race. Believing that he was near the end of his earthly life, he wrote to Timothy, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." **

Doug Picirillo

* Deuteronomy 31:6
** 2 Timothy 4:7

Just do it!

Training is tough.

In today's modern world of 24-hour digital connectedness, where everyone has a personal computer in their pocket, you can receive a wide variety of training in a wide variety of ways. Or so it seems.

You can screen out best practices from a blog. You can purchase online education for almost any undertaking. Youtube has videos demonstrating everything from playing the guitar to repairing a carburetor, and google has pointers for every pursuit from breastfeeding your baby to house-training your pets. You can find twenty solutions to any problem, as long as you can articulate it and google it. Information is everywhere, and it can be in your hands at the speed of light.

But information is not the same as training. 

Despite the nearly omniscient nature of the internet, I think something often gets lost in translation. There's every sort of learning available on the web, but I think real training in most areas still requires three components that the internet struggles to provide: experience, accountability, and oversight.

In most cases, these components require real people in real relationships. In most cases, you can learn ABOUT a skill by watching others do it, but, in order to LEARN a skill, you have to actually PRACTICE it. Maybe hundreds of times. Maybe thousands.

It's no different walking the Way of Jesus. In order to learn and grow, you have to do. And everybody and their brother has an idea of what that should look like. Everybody has a plan or a program. But talk is cheap. And time is short. And there's just no substitute for doing.

Like the great angst-ridden, teen-aged philosopher, Holden Caulfield, I'm not a big fan of "phonies." But, sometimes ya' gotta fake it 'til ya' make it. Sometimes, you just have to figure out what needs done, and go do it.

Fortunately, the way this whole Jesus thing is set up is that you don't have to do it alone. You should always have experience, accountability, and oversight on the Way of Jesus, because they’re built right into the system. It's called the church. And if we’re doing it right, church should be the perfect example of training done right. But you can’t do it by watching, and you can't do it yourself. You can’t do it in a book or a pew or a laptop. That's not the way it works. You have to do. You have to try. You have to go. Together.

Just do it!

Pastor Ed

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Series Title: 7 THINGS

Message Title: God isn't gullible

Date: 5/8/16

Main Passages: Romans 12:1

Some questions for reflection or group study (or please comment on them, below):

• What is most unnerving about the fact that you can't fool God?
• What makes you most nervous about following Jesus?
• In what area do you feel least qualified in following? Love? Grow? Go?
• What's the main thing that's keeping you from truly following?

Good news!

So, last week at Quest, we talked about how our God is so great and powerful that we can't fully know him (if you missed it, you can listen HERE). But can we know him enough? Can we understand the Creator of the universe well enough to grasp what our relationship with him should be? 

We talk about "being saved" and "repentance" and "The Way of Jesus," but what do those things really mean? Can we understand them in a practical way? Can we truly know how to respond to a God who is so huge and powerful, but who also insists that he is present with us whenever we gather? What do we do with that?

One guy who did a really good job of wrestling with it is Paul. He was a smart guy, and he worked his way through these ideas, inspired by the Holy Spirit, and fortunately for us, he wrote it all down in a series of letters to the very first churches and their leaders.

One of those letters was written to the churches in Rome, Italy, which was, at that time, the central hub of civilization. And there is a long-standing tradition, in the church, to grapple with salvation and what exactly we are saved from, by working our way through the Roman letter.

This is often accomplished with something called "The Romans Road" - a series of verses in the Roman letter, which, when read in order, should open up the good news of Jesus Christ in a clear and understandable way. I have put together my own version of the Romans Road for your consideration, and you can download it HERE.

Blessings!
Pastor Ed
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Series Title: 7 THINGS
Message Title: God isn't simple
Date: 4/17/16
Main Passages: Job 38:4-7

Some questions for reflection or group study (or please comment on them, below):

• If you've ever tried to "share your faith" what was the most difficult part?
• When do you think it's appropriate to do so?
• Would you be more or less likely to share if you had a resource like this? Why?
• What do you think is more important, conversion or discipleship? Explain.

Future Shock

We've been talking about how God isn't looking for excuses to punish you or reasons to weed you out, but instead, he wants to help you become a good citizen of the kingdom. So, if God is more interested in what we're becoming than he is about who we are and what we've done, then maybe he's just generally more interested in our future than our past? Maybe he's less interested in our record - how we've responded to things previously - than he is about how we respond from here on out. 

If that's true, part of me says, "That's great! It's all about what's next! It's all about potential!" But another part of me says, "Oh, dear. What if I don't do any better than I have? What if my future is just as messed up as my past?"

Good question. But maybe a better way to think about it is to remember that Jesus didn't just stroll into your life once you noticed him. You didn't call him out of retirement. The reason you noticed him is because he's been there all along; you just didn't notice him until you figured out what to look for. He's been at work in your life, and a huge part of your development as a Jesus follower - as a disciple - is noticing that. The first big step in your sanctification process - your God-directed forward movement - is this awareness that your future matters, both to you and to him.

With that understanding in your back pocket, the rest of your life is all about a kind of four-step process: engage - respond - correct - repeat. Prayerfully step out. Respond to things as best you can. Based on results, make prayerful corrections. Then do it all again. And again. If you keep this up, God will use you, grow you, and bless you.

It's not easy, but it's awesome.

Blessings!
Pastor Ed

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Series Title: 7 THINGS
Message Title: God's not exclusive
Date: 4/3/16
Main Passages: Galatians 3:28

Some questions for reflection or group study (or please comment on them, below):

• In what ways have you felt excluded - in life - in the church?
• Does the idea that God is "inclusive" make you uncomfortable? If so, how? If not, why not?
• What -isms have you struggled with receiving or giving (racism? sexism? ageism? etc.)?
• How has your church family helped you with any of this?

The Walking Dead

The AMC program The Walking Dead (TWD) is a pop-culture phenomenon. It’s one of the highest rated programs in television history, loved by viewers and critics alike. It’s gritty and sexy and realistic and fantastical and deep and action-packed and dramatic and violent. But, at first glance, it seems like a pretty shallow premise.

It’s basically a zombie apocalypse story, drawn out for years. For those of you who aren’t fans of the zombie genre (yes, that’s a thing), zombies are the walking dead. They were once human, but they’ve died and been reanimated as soul-less shells, feeling no pain, and hungry for human flesh. Because they feel no pain and are obviously powered by something other than normal body function, they’re hard to stop. Terminating zombies usually involves stopping their brain function somehow, normally through decapitation or severe head trauma.

So, in some ways, TWD is a typical zombie story. But, there’s a twist. A big one.

In most zombie stories, zombie-ism is passed on from a bite, like rabies. But in TWD, (BIG spoiler alert) at the end of season one, we learn that zombie-ism isn’t caught; we ALL have it. Everyone who dies with brain function in the TWD universe, turns. Everyone becomes a “walker.” Everyone’s a ticking time bomb.

This changes everything.

Consequently, in the TWD universe, we’re all the walking dead. The show’s title doesn’t refer to the zombies, it refers to the survivors - the people looking for safety and hope and a life without fear. Which is interesting, because this is exactly how Paul describes people who have not discovered God’s love.

"You were dead in your transgressions and sins...gratifying the cravings of (your) flesh and following its desires and thoughts." *

We’re like the survivors on TWD, ticking timebombs walking around, dead in our sin. But once we figure that out, there’s hope. 

"Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions." *

We have the answer. We have the cure. Amen?

There’s hope!

Pastor Ed

* (Ephesians 2)

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SERIES TITLE: DYING2LIVE

MESSAGE TITLE: LIVE4HOPE | DIE2APATHY

MAIN PASSAGES: 1 John 4:7-8, 11-12, Matthew 25:31-40

Some questions for use in group or personal study.

• Share a time you thought you had it all figured out, but you found out you were wrong. 
• What’s the difference between being “dead in transgressions” and “alive in Christ?” 
• What are the similarities between being a “walker” and hell?
• What would be heaven to the survivors?

Back In the Day

I used to be able to work on my car.

When I was in high school, I drove a 1976 Ford Pinto Runabout. And when you opened up the hood, there were about five things under there. You could see exactly what everything was connected to, it was easy to understand what everything did, and you could pretty much reach everything with a socket wrench. One time, I actually replaced the points, plugs, and distributer on that bad boy. Quit laughing. I really did.

Those days are gone. These days, every cubic centimeter is packed with something. I can’t tell anything apart. And in order to work on anything, you have to remove two or three things, just to get at it.

The other day, my mechanic buddy, Mike, told me that someone brought in their new car with a blown headlight bulb, and he actually had to take off the front bumper to replace the bulb. It was, like, $160 in parts and labor. For a light bulb. Is it just me, or is that madness?

Most of what Mike tells me about working on cars sounds like voodoo magic and guesswork. So, I don’t even mess with it anymore. I can refill the fluids. That’s about it.

But guess what? I can still get in the car, turn it on, and drive to the grocery store, having no idea how to reset the manometer or where the ignition magneto is located. Ninety percent of the time, it still does everything I need it to do, no problem. And the other ten percent? That’s why I have Mike.

So, in a certain sense, driving my car around town is a little bit like walking The Way of Jesus. I don’t have to know every little detail about atonement and heaven and predestination and eschatology in order to get from Point A to Point B.

Ninety percent of the time, all I need to do is turn the key and go - the basics are all that’s necessary. And for the other ten percent, I have the Holy Spirit, the Bible, my pastor, and 6,000 years of biblical scholarship to fall back on.

This week, join us as we discuss who we are and who God wants us to become and how that path doesn’t require us to understand every tiny detail and every single nuance of God’s plan. At some point, we just have to trust that, if we turn the key, this car will get us where we’re going.

Join us this Sunday!

Pastor Ed

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Series Title: DYING2LIVE

Message Title: live4growth | die2junk

Main Passages: 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Hebrews 12:1-3

Some questions for reflection or group study (or please comment on them, below):

• In what area of your life has your faith produced the most growth?
• What have been your greatest stumbling blocks to growing in your faith?
• Share something you’re doing to intentionally to grow your faith.
• If someone asked you how to start learning about Jesus, what would you tell them?